Added: Dondi Lemaire - Date: 19.10.2021 15:04 - Views: 40909 - Clicks: 6573
By ironponyFebruary 11, in Sex and Romance. Basically I met a woman online and we did a lot of talking before we actually met, mostly cause I was busy at the time. Later on, we finally met, went out had a great time and hooked up at the end of the night.
The second date, we did the same thing, but I noticed it wasn't as good as the first for her, like something was off I texted her if she would like to hang out next weekend, later on, and she said that she thinks I am fun but we don't have enough common for dating. I just played it cool, and said that's cool, even though I was quite disappointed actually, since she was a lot of fun and really cool. And then a few minutes later, she said that she thinks I am fun and attractive, and is interested in a friend with benefits if I am.
So I said sure, we could do that. A few days later I went over to her place and we hooked up. Even though I really like her, my plan was to get her to like me more, to hopefully get her to want to see me as dating material. Mainly I just gave her the best sex I could. So far I went a day without calling or texting after, cause I want to play it cool, and maybe get her wanting more.
But either way, I still had fun with her that night, even if she is just into the FWB thing. But I would like to attract her more and wanting to see me as more, if possible. Is this a good way to go about it and keep giving her a fun time this way, since she thinks I am fun, or what do you think?
Do you have a stable job? Did she say what exactly she thought made you two not a good match? Have you considered that 'playing it cool' is what is derailing this into the fwb zone? You don't show interest in dating her, just hang outs hookups. I didn't start playing it cool until she told me she was more interested in a FWB out of me, though, so I don't think it would have turned her that way, since I didn't start playing it cool, until after she told me, she didn't think we had enough in common for a relationship. Maybe that had something do with it. But not everyone is perfect right? She has flaws too, that I was willing to accept.
I mean for random example, she doesn't even have her driver's by her age, and she is 32, same age as me. Not that I am judging her or anything, it was just a random example, of how she may have some shortcoming compared to me as well, which I am perfectly fine with. That's all. But I am not even sure if me having some job problems, was the problem right now, I am just saying maybe, based on the question.
She didn't even talk to me about how much cash I have though. And I payed for both of us, on the dates.
So how could she have seen this as an issue when she didn't even talk to me about it? I dunno - the last guy i said that i didn't want to date but was ok with FWB, that was because he had some problems in his life. He had a job, but it was the first permanent job he had in a while. Those things together contributed to how i felt about him.
For the record, I don't have a driver's but that's because I've always lived in a major city. I'm looking at some jobs in the suburbs now and am studying for the test finally lol. I think that you need to listen to what she said: she does not want to date you, and only wants sex. I just want to say that I find it so uncommon for the roles to be reversed like this. Usually it's the guy who wants a casual FWB while the girl wants something more. Its nice to see a change. Anyways, it's possible that if you continue sleeping with her that she'll eventually like you. I've seen it happen so many times.
What should you do? Continue and see where it goes. If nothing changes down the line then you'll have to let this one go.
Also, sleeping with her to get her to like you more might backfire. As in you'll like her more than you'd of hoped for while her feelings for you remain static. Bad idea. Most likely your feelings for her will continue to intensify until she finds someone she does want to date and then you blow up on her and she thinks you're awful.
This is what I was thinking though. I have seen this happen with friends of mine mostly women friends, if that makes a difference or notwhere they will develop feelings for the guy when they are in a FWB relationship. So I thought maybe I could see if that happens with her, which is not a bad thing, since I like her as well.
I thought I would at least try a little more rather than put a cold turkey stop and not talk to her again. Even though, she said she wanted me as FWB, and I slept with her once so far a couple of nights ago, I had a lot of fun with her either way, and she still is a lot of fun. So I am still enjoying the time, even if it's sex based now.
So I was at least willing to try it out a bit longer, since she is still fun. But I feel maybe I need maybe an exit stragedy, where I can set some sort of deadline, or have some sort of plan to attempt to get her to see me more after a few more times, or get out, rather than let it go on and on, if it does.
That way I can get out and be glad for trying and still had fun in the mean time. If that sounds better? I just played it cool, and said that's cool. Okay thanks. So if I would have slept with her on the first date, she would have thought I was better boyfriend potential then?
She sounds like an honest person. Youve already gotten the sex and had your good time. Why gamble a high possibility of rejection and hurt feelings for a woman who already told you the odds are extremely bad? But this is just the thing though. It seems that a lot of people live by the philosophy, not to rock the boat at all.
But sometimes I feel a little gentle boatrocking is okay, if I am fair, honest, and not hurting anyone. I've been burned before, I can handle it. But what is harder for me, is not taking risks, out of fear of being hurt, and then wondering what if later. That always made me feel worse in past situations, so I thought I would at least try, and then I can be give myself a pat on the back for trying, rather than always safeguarding myself all the time.
It is hard to achieve this. I have been her. Break it off now matedo yourself a favour. I don't know, I guess I just feel more passionate about it, and feel like going down swinging, rather than giving up immediately, without even trying. It was said before on here, that I was willing to take whatever crumbs she was giving though, and that's what got me in this position. Should I just have said that I want more and not interested in sex only? I feel if I had said that, it would have gotten me into a worse position. Am I wrong? Wouldn't that be honest?
Hedge your bets man. Not only did she beat you to the punch on setting expectations, but You could tell the sex had fallen off too right? You want something meaningful, and she wants only sex. If you don't mind being used, hoping that will somehow get you what you want from her, go for it.
But be prepared for her to possibly Looking for a girl that just wants fwb you once the sex is no longer interesting for her. Yeah true. I felt that if I told her I wanted more than just sex, she would loose interest in me entirely, and if I settled for sex for now, the glass would still be partially full, and I guess I am a glass partially full type of person, rather than go for all or nothing.
I guess if all she wants is sex I can go for that, since it's still fun. I mean the sex is good so maybe I should stop complaining and just settle for what I get So if that is all she wants, how long should I wait before I text her back then? I mean it's already been two days after the first encounter, so how long should I wait before arranging another one, without coming off as too rushy then?Looking for a girl that just wants fwb
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